


Checkmate

by writewithurheart



Series: Natasha Deserves Better [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, F/M, Friendship/Love, Natasha Doesn't Die, Natasha deserves better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 16:33:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18854839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writewithurheart/pseuds/writewithurheart
Summary: For five years, Natasha led the team after the Snap. She held them together while everything else fell apart, and she vows to do whatever it takes to get the infinity stones. Then someone ruins her plans.An AU where one thing changes and Natasha isn't the only one who knows what sacrifice the Soul Stone requires.





	Checkmate

**Author's Note:**

> Because Natasha deserves better.

**Checkmate**

“Change of plans: I’m with you.” 

Natasha blinks in surprise, looking around the platform. Her eyes find Clint first: across from her, next to Stark, Banner, and Lang. She glances up at Steve beside her with a frown. “What?” 

Blue eyes bore into hers. There’s something about Steve’s eyes that tear through her armor. She’s seen them teasing, sad, determined, but this is cutting: he knows. She swallows thickly and looks away. 

“You can’t,” she whispers. “It needs to be Clint.” 

Steve’s jaw clenches. 

“I’m making him switch back.” 

His hand wraps around her upper arm and Steve pulls her back. “I’m not letting you do this.” 

“That’s why it has to be Clint,” she whispers back angrily. “You never could let anyone else sacrifice for you.” 

“Tash-” 

“You finally have a life again, Steve. You have your group and this team. The Avengers need their leader.” 

“Bull shit.” Steve’s eyes bore into hers. “You’re their leader. Five years, Nat. You carried on when we left. It’s your team. You can’t leave them leaderless now.” 

“And this is the best way I can serve. I have no illusions about that, Captain.” She spits the word back at him and Steve winces back, dropping her arm. 

She storms away, over to Clint. “Come on, Robin Hood. You’re with me.” 

Clint frowns along with Tony and Banner. “Cap told me-” 

“Forget what Steve said,” she says harshly. She turns on her heel and glares down Captain America. That’s the challenge, isn’t it? They can follow her instructions or Steve’s. Clint looks between them, confused. 

Banner looks lost, even with his huge brain. Stark narrows his eyes and looks between her and Steve. Nat forces herself to stare back, stone faced. 

“Are we reworking the teams now?” Stark asks. “Why?” 

“Clint would be better for New York,” Steve says matter-of-factly, arms crossed in that righteous way that patriotic posters like to mimic, the ones where people write poems about his biceps. “He knows the SHIELD agents. He knows the best routes in and out. Captain America would be too noticeable.” 

Tony frowns as he looks at Natasha, like there’s a piece that isn’t fitting in the puzzle. 

“I thought Clint and Natasha were going to Vormir because we were worried about them being recognized,” Bruce says. 

Nat smiles at that and directs her gaze to Steve. They both know the truth, but the longer this goes on, the closer Clint is to catching on, and Nat can’t have that. It makes her job harder. The only thing going for her is that Steve won’t tell either. If the group knows what it will take to get the Soul Stone, they go back to the drawing board, and they won’t make the necessary sacrifice. 

“He has a reason to move with the sceptre,” Steve explains. “Call it redemption. You know the tower best. You’ll be able to slip away.” 

Banner nods in acknowledgement, but Stark doesn’t appear to be buying it. Of course he turns to Steve to verify the plan. Natasha’s blood boils just a little at that. 

Clint turns to her. “Nat, what’s really going on here?” 

She swallows as she continues to stare at Steve. “He’s an asshole.” 

“Nat?” 

She shakes off her despair and smiles at Clint. “To be honest, I was kind of hoping for another Budapest.” 

He snorts. “If that’s all…” He leaves it open, eyes locked on hers. He’s looking for deeper meaning, for one of her signals, one of the tells. Because they don’t lie to each other. 

Maybe that’s why her smile doesn’t phase him. “That’s it. I know New York wasn’t an easy time for you.” 

“Might be good to redeem myself,” Clint says slowly. “But if you need me…”

“Guess it’s settled then,” Stark announces, clapping his hands. “Capsicle with Mother Russia. Birdbrain over here. We good now? Not like we’re trying to save the world or anything.” 

Steve comes to stand beside Natasha. She rolls her shoulders back. “This doesn’t change my plan.”

He sighs, but doesn’t respond before the portal opens and they’re racing back through time and space. 

… 

“Honestly, Cap, you being here kind of feels like overkill,” Rhodey offers when they split ways at the spaceship. 

Nebula’s eyes keep darting between Steve and Natasha, a question in her eyes. 

Natasha gives a resigned sigh. “It’s what it has to be, Rhodey.” 

He wants to ask more questions, but Nebula steps forward. “Be careful. We’ll see you on the other side.” 

Natasha nods, clasping her hand. Their plan, for Clint to return without her, it’s a wash now. One of them will be coming back and she can’t guarantee it won’t be her. The tension mounts as she and Steve reach the cockpit and he gazes at the controls. She folds her arms and looks at Steve expectantly. 

He raises an eyebrow at her. 

She smiles back, cutting. “You’re the one who got rid of my pilot.” 

“It’s better that it’s us,” Steve says as he drops into the seat and starts pressing buttons. Nat narrows her eyes at the way he seems to know what he’s doing. The engine hums to life. 

Natasha drops into the seat beside him. “How did you figure it out?” 

“Rocket,” he says. “And you.” 

“Me?” 

Steve glances sideways at her. “You wouldn’t have stepped back if you didn’t plan on leaving. You fought to keep the team together You didn’t leave a single person behind. It didn’t make sense.” 

“The team fell apart, Steve. Tony left. You retired.” Her hand clenches around the controls she’s not using. “And I still have red in my ledger.” 

Steve sighs. “It’s your team. We’re back, but we’re not going to stay. You know that.” 

They’ve talked about it: After the Snap, when they discussed disbanding the team; when Steve started taking those counselling classes; Late at night, naked in her bed after seeking comfort in each other, because sometimes what you need to chase away the numbness is a good fuck. 

He might talk about being positive, but his heart was never in it. In his weakest moments - after particularly hard group sessions - he told her he couldn’t do this anymore, where he gave up on bringing everyone back. He struggled just to feel anything. Her heart went out to him and they fell into bed because sex was better than nothing.

Tony was the first to leave, for a brand new family that he could cling to. Bruce left because he couldn’t so much as look at her. Clint had never come back. Steve...Steve wanted to leave, but he kept coming back... 

He tried so hard to be positive, to move past the depression, but she couldn’t let it go. 

“Maybe it was true,” she admits. “For my team. You guys, you aren’t my team.” 

Steve scowls. “When the dust settles it’s going to be your team again. Tony’s going back to his family. Bruce will go back to...whatever. And I…” 

Natasha looks at him sharply. “You’re planning on killing yourself.” 

He glances at her. “And you’re going to try to beat me to it.” 

“Losing Captain America will destroy morale.” It’s a bait, something to make him bite, to make him think that it doesn’t have to be him. Steve isn’t Cap. Natasha continues, “You think Yasha would forgive me if I let you do this. What about Sam? Clint isn’t the only one with family waiting for him, Steve. Or are you still hoping for some secret way out?” 

Steve inhales sharply, a confirmation on that final point. He’s looking for the loophole. 

“There isn’t one. I’ll do what needs to be done.” She nods to herself. It’ll be harder with Steve there. 

Steve was her rock when she felt like she was drowning after the Snap. When the team split, he stayed to ground her, shield or no shield. He could keep up with her. It’s another reason she didn’t want him on this team: she doesn’t know if she can look into his eyes and still sacrifice herself. 

The ship moves in for a final descent to Vormir, the dark planet as ominous an omen as any. Natasha takes a deep breath and straightens. It’s time. 

They don’t speak as they hike up the mountain. Each step vibrates with finality. It’s a death march and they both know it. She doesn’t know how it will happen, but the higher they get, the more sure Natasha is that it will be a literal fall. It’s a good thing she’s never been afraid of heights. 

Between steps, a cloaked figure appears out of nowhere, floating off the ground. She unsheathes the knife instinctively. 

“Natasha, Daughter of Ivan. Steven, Son of Sarah.” 

There’s a laugh bubbling in her throat. Natasha would find her father’s name moments before her death. Of course. Younger her would be ecstatic. Younger her would be naive. 

Steve’s face clouds. “Schmidt.” 

The hood falls back to reveal a gaunt red face. “Captain. I am Schmidt and not. I am a guide to those who seek the Soul Stone.” 

“You know him?” Natasha asks, eyeing the figure. 

Steve’s fist clenches and unclenches at his side. “Nazi. Last saw him on the Valkyrie.” 

She nods slowly. “Well, if we want the stone…” She tucks her knife away and steps forward. “We’re here for the stone.” 

The red man smiles. “Follow me.” 

The last length leads them to the top of one of the two cliffs, a plateau where the other side is too far to be reached. If you go over the edge, there’s no survival. It’s haunting and beautiful. Steve follows her step by step as the near the edge. 

Ten feet away, the floating dead man speaks: “The Soul Stone requires a sacrifice: that which you love the most.” 

Natasha inhales and squares her shoulders. “Tell Clint I love him. Laura, Lila, Nate, Coop. Everyone.” She finally gets up the courage to look at him. “Bring them all back, okay? I’m counting on you.” 

Steve grabs her hand before she can make it three steps. She turns to look back at him, the pain in his eyes a punch to the gut when she was so little that others could get the drop on her. They hang in that moment, suspended in each other’s eyes. Tears threaten to fall but she blinks them back.

“Bucky and Sam, they’ll be fine without me. I’m not Captain America anymore. Haven’t been for awhile.” 

“Steve,” she protests, shaking her head. They are not having this conversation. Yet it’s then that she realizes he doesn’t even have the shield with him. She could have sworn it was in the ship. 

“I was meant to go down with that plane or any countless times since 1946. I’ve lived and loved enough for three lifetimes. You’re just getting started.” 

She doesn’t like the way this talk is going. She tries to tug her hand from Steve’s grip, but he just pulls her closer, lifting his other hand to cup her cheek. The tears are flowing freely now as she shakes her head, rejecting what she’s trying to do. “No. No no no no, I won’t let you.” 

Gently, he wipes the tears from her cheeks and presses a kiss to her forehead. Steve tilts her face up and presses the next kiss to her lips. The kiss is salty, tinged with tears from both of them. He probably means for it to be chaste. She lets it last a moment too long before Natasha closes her eyes and leans back as Steve stumbles. 

He stares at her with wide eyes as Natasha takes a step backward, closer to the edge. She wipes the lipstick from her lips and drops the tube on the ground: 102 Sweet Dreams, straight from the playbook of Peggy Carter. She never planned to use it. It was more a talisman from the woman who helped Clint bring her in.  

“What did you do?” Steve asks, staggering. He can barely stand on his feet, but he should be asleep. 

She smiles sadly and runs her hand across his cheek and into his hair. “It needs to be me.” Her heart aches as she looks at him. “I love you.” 

He moves faster than he should be able to, especially with the chemicals that should be affecting his system. He presses one of her widow bites to her neck, sending electric shock through her body. Being the gentleman he is, Steve catches her and lowers her to the ground. “Sorry, couldn’t let you do it.” 

Nat tries to reach for him. Her muscles spasm, refuse to respond to the signals she’s sending. He walks to the edge as she forces herself to her feet. She doesn’t have a weapon in her arsenal she can’t combat. She races forward, pulling her grappling pack from her belt. She shoves it on Steve’s suit as they go over the cliff. 

As much as she tries to release him, Steve grabs on. He’s the only thing stopping her from plummeting. She narrows her hand to slip through his but Steve uses his prodigious strength to pull her up. Nat struggles, trying to slip from his grip. 

Then she’s flying through the air, except not in the direction she was aiming for. Steve throws her into the air. Damn him and the strength. She lands with a grunt on the rock of the plateau and crawls forward again just in time to see Steve unclip his belt. 

“No!” 

He meets her eyes as he falls, face set. 

“STEVE!” Tears blur her eyes as her heart shatters into a thousand pieces. She reaches for her belt, for something in her back pocket that will let her save him. With his serum, Steve might survive this if she would just- 

The world around her dissolves and Natasha finds herself kneeling in a couple inches of water. Sobs shake her body and she slaps at the water as if it would help her get Steve back. The stone glows orange in her hand but it doesn’t feel like victory. 

Her watch beeps and Natasha forces herself to her feet. Her legs are shaky, her bones hollow. There are bricks tied to her feet. She climbs back into the ship and breaks when her eyes land on Steve’s shield, leaning against his chair. 

Her hands run over the smooth metal, trace the divots from Peggy’s gun and then turns it over. She grips the worn leather straps and scowls as she sees the white envelope taped to the back, her name scrawled in that annoyingly perfect script. 

“You sentimental idiot,” she whispers, pulling the shield closer. She cuddles it to her chest and imagines it at least smells a little like him. Probably not true, but she hugs it closer with a sob. 

That’s the only moment she allows for emotional turmoil. She stands and tightens the straps so they fit her arm. She takes a deep breath and schools her face before hitting the button to bring her home. 

She lands on the platform, surrounded by the rest of her idiots.  

Tony, Bruce, Clint, Scott, Thor, Rocket, Rhodey...there’s a beat and Nebula appears. She looks around to see signs of success, stones held up in success. The stone in her hand bores a hole through her palm. 

Tony is the one who finally asks the question: “Where’s Cap?” 

It’s echoed by Clint and Bruce, and her forced composure shatters. The floor rises to meet her and Natasha collapses. They’re all safe. Everyone made it back in one piece, everyone except Steve. 

Strong arms wrap around her. She leans into the embrace and let’s everything go. She can feel her tears soaking into Clint’s shirt as he holds her. 

“He jumped, Clint. He jumped.” Feelings she’s keep repressed are screaming at the surface. “I tried to stop him. I tried.” 

Clint rocks her gently, whispering nonsense into her hair. And when the tears fade and her breathing calms, Natasha is numb. She pulls back and brushes her cheeks. Her feet wobble, her legs shake, and her spine straightens. She holds out her hand to Tony, stone shining in her palm. 

“You got that gauntlet ready?” 

Tony nods numbly. “Yeah.” 

Nat nods. “Good. Then let’s do this.” 

He looks unsure, but takes the stone from her in a gauntleted hand. Bruce looks at her like he wants to say something. He quickly turns and follows Tony to the other room. Rhodey moves closer and pulls her into a half hug, Scott looks awkward, and Nebula looks around the room. 

Nat catches Nebula’s eye and the cyborg looks hurriedly away and goes to follow Rocket, Tony, and Bruce. That’s unusual. Natasha frowns. Nebula would usually check in with her. It itches something in the back of her mind. 

“What happened, Nat?” 

She meets Clint’s eyes, glad she’s all cried out or this would be impossible. “He...the Soul Stone: it required a sacrifice. The thing you loved most.” 

Clint takes a step back. 

“So you killed him?” Bruce’s words cut through her, as if the Winter Soldier shot her all over again. Her hands curl into fists. If anyone had an excuse to think that, it would be Bruce. 

“Don’t be stupid, Banner,” Clint says. “That’s why you wanted me to go with you, isn’t it?” 

Natasha winces. “Clint…” 

“You were going to sacrifice yourself.” He clenches his jaw. “You thought I would let you do it.” 

“No,” she says softly. “That wasn’t it.” 

“No,” he repeats slowly. “You just thought you could beat me. That’s why Steve insisted on switching.” 

“He shouldn’t have done that.” Natasha slides the shield off her arm and turns it around to stare at the literal target in the middle of the disk. “He couldn’t back down from a fight.” 

“Wouldn’t let you kill yourself, you mean?” Clint demands. 

“So I was just supposed to let him do it?” She spins to look at him. “He kept going on about how this is my team to lead, and how I had to come back. He left me his freaking shield.” She holds it out to Clint. She shakes her head, unable to wrap her head around how he could think that. 

“He has a point,” Rhodey says, stepping forward. “You’ve been our leader for the last five years. Calling in the calvary doesn’t change that.” 

Natasha’s jaw clenches. “Doesn’t mean Steve should have died instead of me. He was our best chance-” 

“Steve wasn’t fighting for the last five years against impossible odds. Steve wasn’t on the front lines when hope was lost. You were. You spent years searching for Clint because you wanted to bring him in from the cold.” Rhodey takes a deep breath and looks away. 

“You’re worth just as much as Steve,” Clint says. “He did this to save you. We can bring him back with the Snap, right?” 

“It’s not that simple. He won’t come back.” Natasha runs her hand over the shield. “It was different...he’s gone.” 

Silence descends and Nat realizes everyone has returned to the open hangar. Tony has his hands shoved in his pockets. “Let’s go get some air,” he suggests. 

Natasha follows the group out into the sunshine and the dock overlooking the lake. She’s been using it for morning yoga. She convinced Steve to join her a couple times and they ended up doing a little more than just yoga. She sits on the bench and rests the shield against the side. While the boys swap stories, she pulls the letter from her pocket. 

Clint glances over at it. “Nat…” 

She plays with the envelope before opening it and sliding out the letter. It’s written in his strong, slowing artist’s hand in ridiculously straight lines for someone who wrote freehand and just that threatens to bring the tears back. 

_ Nat,  _

_ Bucky once told me not to do anything stupid, and I think you’d both agree I suck at that. Nebula told me. She seemed to think I had a right to know what you were planning. She was worried about you.  _

_ If everything goes as planned, I took the leap and you found the shield where I left it.  _

_ I’m sorry. I abandoned you, I abandoned the team, and left you to pick up the pieces.You would go through with this, you would sacrifice yourself for half the universe because you care about everyone, every single person on this planet, that much. But I couldn’t let you do it. It’s a new world now, and they need a leader who’s willing to do whatever it takes. The world still needs heroes, ordinary people who take up more than they should have to. People like you Nat.   _

_ The shield is yours. Keep your stance wide and your arm straight, we already know it looks good on you. _

_ Steve  _

She folds the letter back up and shoves it into the envelope, wiping fresh tears from her cheeks and sniffling. She taps the letter against her thigh and then leans back against the bench. Clint reaches out and squeezes her thigh. She falls sideways to rest her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes. 

“To Cap, the best of us,” says Bruce. 

“A most noble warrior,” Thor contributes. 

“A good man.” Tony lifts a cup he got from somewhere. “We disagreed...a lot, but he promised me we’d do this without losing what we gained the past five years. Morgan,” he elaborates unnecessarily. “He was also annoying. In the extreme. Self-righteous, arrogant, infuriatingly correct most of the time. Loyal. And inhumanly good-looking. Seriously, how does that happen?” 

Natasha snorts. “He was an idiot. With a good heart.” 

Clint pulls her closer. “To Steve, an idiot with a good heart.” 

The cheer is echoed and the juice passed around. Surprisingly it really is just juice, no alcohol at all. Natasha drinks it and scrunches her nose. “Needs vodka.” 

Tony snorts. “Of course it does Mother Russia.” Then he laughs. “Mother Russia and Captain America. Quite the pair.” 

Natasha nods and picks up the shield. “He said he left it for me.” 

“Good,” Tony says firmly. “Someone has to lead us into the brave new world.” 

She raises an eyebrow at Tony and he shrugs. 

“You did good, comrade.” 

There’s another toast to her and Natasha scans the supportive faces, even Bruce who still can’t meet her eyes. She notices Nebula and Rocket have disappeared, left them to their mourning. Clint passes her a flask in place of Tony’s juice and Nat swallows the swill Barton calls liquor. It burns enough to suit her desire to match the pain in her chest while they keep talking. Remembering. 

She’s Russian and all the crappy whiskey in Clint’s flask isn’t enough to get her truly drunk. The world is fuzzy, but she’s not sure if that’s the liquor or the grief. She’s not needed for the glove and the rest of the damn stones. She’s just here to fight on the front lines. 

After a nap, Nat finds herself back in the lab, listening to the boys argue over who will use the gauntlet, when she spots Nebula lurking around a corner.  The machoisimo argument fades into the background as she watches Nebula creep towards the main hangar. Natasha glances at Rocket. They normally hang out in the corners together. Something’s up. 

She signals to Clint that she’s leaving and he nods. Her steps are silent as she slinks along, worry niggling her brain. Nebula has been on the outside since they travelled back in time. Natasha sees her approach the control board and tap on the display. A chill runs down her spine and she steps forward.

“Nebula.” 

The cyborg jumps and narrows her eyes to stare at Nat. 

Nat softens her approach and tries to get a closer look at the board, but Nebula edges sideways just so to obscure the display. “I thought you might want some company. I know you and Steve were close.” 

Nebula freezes before she nods slowly. “Right. I just wanted to be alone. To process.” 

The answer is stilted, slow: a confirmation of her every concern. This is not the Nebula she’s grown closer to over the last 5 years, the Nebula who only grudgingly respected Captain America. Natasha nods and turns as if she’s about to leave. 

She spins back and throws a widow bite at Nebula, to incapacitate her. Something went wrong after they separated…

Not-Nebula slams the board just as the widow bite sends electricity arcing across her skin. The panels are already moving, a hum increasing in volume as the machine powers up. Nebula collapses against the panel, but it’s already too late. A ship bursts through the portal and then higher until it smashes through the metal panels covering the skylights during barndoor protocols. 

“BOYS! INCOMING!” She hopes they’ve got the gauntlet finished, that they’ve already sorted out who’s wearing the damn glove and someone’s snapped their fingers because they’re going to need more firepower if this is who she thinks it is. 

Natasha races for the other room and hears a cheerful: “Guys, I think it worked!” She slides into the room and grabs the shield. “Nebula was a plant. Bogey overhead.” 

“Thanos?” Tony asks and chaos erupts. 

The shield over her head doesn’t brace her for much and the doorway provides a bit more. She’s thrown in the third hit counted by the strikes to the ground. She raises the shield to cover her head, curling under it. With a slight angle, she manages to deflect most of the rubble even if her arm is starting to go numb. 

There’s not much above her in the compound, so she isn’t crushed by a falling beam or a slab of concrete. She doesn’t fall further down into the Earth because there was nothing under the hangar - a safety feature for training disasters. When the vibration of impacts ceases, she’s able to push off the rubble. 

She can feel aches all over her body where she’s sure she’s going to find bruises later if they make it out of this. It aches but nothing is broken. She adjusts the shield on her arm and starts to pick her way through the rubble. 

Tony appears in a shower of concrete and dust blasted out from his forcefield. Thor comes from the other direction, his armor clicking into place as he strides forward. 

“Where are the others?” Tony asks, glancing around. 

Nat reaches for her comm. “Avengers, respond.” 

_ “Present and accounted for, Widow. And I’ve found one large, glittery glove,” _ Hawkeye reports. 

Tony looks at her under his faceplate. “Anyone else?” 

_ “We’re pinned.”  _ Bruce reports  _ “Rhodey, Rocket and myself.” _

Nat nods. “Okay. Hawkeye, your priority is the glove. Bruce, Rhodey, Rocket, can you get yourselves out?” 

_ “We’ve got water incoming. We’re going to need an assist,” _ Rhodey reports. 

_ “I’m on my way,”  _ Scott reports.  _ “I’ll get them out.” _

“Good,” Natasha agrees. “Tony, Thor and I will hold off Thanos.” She hefts her arm with the shield to adjust to the weapon. She’s thrown it around and used it on occasion when they were on mission, a couple times when sparring. She looks up at the men on either side of her. “Ready?” 

What follows is an unnecessary display of posturing about fate and inevitability. Natasha really isn’t interested in the continued threats. Thanos claiming he’s going to recreate the world to create peaceful lifeforms. It’s unnecessary, is what it is. 

Then the fighting starts. Each blow resonates through her body and every bruise. If she didn’t spend years in the Red Room, hadn’t gone through experimentation, she would be dead. She loses one baton, and then the other. Her widow bites have no effect. 

Natasha gets flung across the open area and into broken slab that probably used to be a wall.  She pushes herself up to her feet when she notices something on the ground: Mjolnir. She swallows thickly. She had the chance to lift the hammer before Ultron and she decided to forgo the opportunity. Now she’s out of options. 

The leather wrapped around the handle is smooth under her hand from years of use. It’s formed to Thor’s larger hand and surprisingly cool to the touch. Nat takes a deep breath before she summons the courage to lift. 

She’s worried that she got it wrong: she’s not worthy. She let Captain America jump off a cliff for her. She doesn’t expect it to rise and she staggers a bit as she overcompensated for a heavy weight that isn’t there. It isn’t that Mjolnir has lost it’s heft, but that it sits comfortably in her hand, never more than she can handle. 

Natasha tests its weight in her hand for just a moment before she throws herself back into battle, allowing herself a tiny smirk at Thor’s excited ‘I KNEW IT’. 

Lightning springs to answer her, called down from heaven as she attempts to use moves she’s only seen Thor use in spars. The shock and breadth of energy discharge leaves her breathless. Mjolnir acts with a mind of its own, lends her strength to keep fighting even as Thanos bears down on her. 

He’s finally annoyed, angry. This was supposed to be a quick extermination, a simple fight and then the end. Instead they are pushing him back. They’ve gained ground and he’s getting desperate. 

The shield starts to crack and fissure, to literally crumble under his strikes. She tries to duck and weave, using her speed and agility against his hulking form. She lasts longer than Thor and Tony and all it earns her are a couple gashes on her abdomen and her thigh. Probably a sprained ankle, maybe a broken arm. 

She fights until Thanos beats her into the dirt. Her muscles resist any movement at all, each attempt just protests. She’s not strong enough for this. 

Thanos doesn’t even bother to finish her off, and maybe that’s what pisses her off the most. He just walks away. She’s bloody, barely breathing, and still not dead. Thanos is giving some sort of victory speech. Natasha can hear is Steve’s voice in her head: 

_ GET UP, NATASHA.  _

Her hand lands on the hard earth and she pushes herself to her knees. There’s a sharp pain in her side: definitely a broken rib. She rests her hands on her hips, unable to get a deep breath. 

_ GET UP. _

Nat huffs. She knows that Steve. She’s just trying to breathe. 

_ Natasha, _ the voice whispers in a caress.  _ This is the point where you take a stand and tell the world, no, you move. _

She rolls her eyes at her own hallucination. Of course, even in her head Steve is dramatic. She’s been taking a stand on her own since the Snap. Of course, the voice has a point. He always liked to throw out inspirational quotes while in the costume. Annoying asshole. 

_ Stand, Natasha. _

Yeah, yeah, she mumbles as she staggers to her own feet. She reaches her hand out and calls Mjolnir to her hand. With a hammer in one and the broken shield on the other, she turns to face Thanos again. 

She smirks and decides to quote Steve: “I could do this all day.” 

Thanos scowls and glances behind him. His army howls and bangs their weapons, eager for blood. Natasha plants her feet and silently curses for the Avengers for ever dragging her into the light and making her the kind of person to stand between an army and a billion innocent lives. As Thanos raises his hand to signal his soldiers forward, her comm crackles to life: 

_ “Widow? Widow can you hear me?” _

She blinks in shock and adjusts her stance. “Sam?” 

_ “Looks like you could use a little help.” _

She relaxes. “You offering?” 

A gold circle appears in the air and Falcon soars through it. Natasha grins as more circles appear around the compound, figures stepping through them, all warriors, all ready to make their stand. Their gambit worked and now...now they actually have a chance. 

Natasha lifts the hammer and the shield. She’s takes a deep breath. We do this. For Steve. “Avengers assemble!” 

Then the world explodes as armies collide. Every hurt, every ache settles into the background as adrenaline floods her system. She ends up with the giant celestial axe at one point and Thor quickly swaps with her. She rolls her eyes at the insecurity and then jumps right back into the fight. 

She breaks her tibia trying to stop Thanos from closing his fist. It gives Tony the chance to jump in and steal the stones. It also means she can’t get to him fast enough when he uses his nanites to reform his suit into another gauntlet. She hobbles over as the armies disappears. Peter and Pepper race to Tony’s side as a metal arm wraps around Natasha’s waist to hold her up on one shaking leg. 

Tears pour down her cheeks and Natasha turns into James, letting him take her weight as all her loss slams into her. This doesn’t feel like a victory. They’ve lost two great men and saved half the universe. 

Nat forces herself to turn away. She wipes tears away as she moves. Bucky keeps pace with her, supporting her. She tries to wave him off but his arm tightens around her waist. She acquiesces to his silent demand, aware that his assistance is the only thing allowing her to walk. Sam lands on her other side and looks her over. 

“Look a little worse for wear, Red.” 

She smiles at him. “Thanks for the assist, Sam.” 

“Couldn’t help but notice Steve’s MIA.” 

Natasha slows her already stilted walk. She lifts the broken shield and holds it out to Sam. He takes it from her, understanding already the implications. 

“How’d it happen?” Bucky asks softly. 

“He sacrificed himself to get the soul stone.”  

The boys huff, neither of whom seem surprised. 

Bucky squeezes her. “Idiot.” 

Nat takes a deep breath and looks up. T’Challa is in front of her. Carol walks up from another direction. Valkyrie is here, Okoye, Shuri, Doctor Strange, Nebula. They’re all gathered around, far enough not to intrude on the private moment, but silent in their respects. 

“What now?” Valkyrie asks quietly. 

It takes Natasha a moment to realize that everyone is looking at her, waiting for an answer. She shakes her head to clear it before speaking. “We need to stabilize the galaxy. Half the population returned after five years. People are going to be confused, things are going to be chaos. That is where we come in.” 

“Carol, Nebula,” she gestures at the other Guardians whose names she doesn’t remember, “can you handle the galactic affairs?” 

She gets a couple of nods. 

“T’Challa, your highness, can you handle the media? Okoye will debrief you on the last five years. We need to get that information out and Wakanda has the best technology for that.” She turns then to the Asgardians. She glances at the sorcerers. “Wizards pair with Asgardians. You’ve got relief work and aid. Everyone else, pitch in where you can.” 

There is agreement all around and Natasha breathes a little easier. “Alright, let’s get to work.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this take on what could have happened in Endgame. Please let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!


End file.
